Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Rrring! Rrring! Yours Truly Gets Call from Episcopal Mothership

Rrring! Rrring!

Yes, sir. This is he.

What’s that, bishop? A correction?

You all didn’t mean solidarity?

Oh. I see. You meant solidarity. Just not what I thought it meant. With hocking the rings and all.

Yes, sir. I’m pleased to issue a correction. THERE WILL BE NO SOLIDARITY HANDOUTS AT BISHOPS’ RESIDENCES AS A RESULT OF THE STATEMENT ABOUT SOLIDARITY.

No rings to be sold or hocked. I got it.

Different kind of solidarity. Involves prayer. Teaching authority. Complex issues. No simple answers. Not a single issue here. No intrinsic evil. Bishops must not dictate answers for complicated political and moral decisions.

Got it, sir. Writing as fast as my hand can take the dictation.

You’re welcome.

And sir? About that statement Cardinal Mahoney made after the election?

Yes. That one. The one where he said,

The Catholic Church understands that there are people who choose to live together in relationships other than traditional marriage. All of their spiritual, pastoral and civil rights should be respected, together with their membership in the church.

Do the bishops really mean to endorse all gay rights short of marriage? Or is that another statement like the solidarity one, where the rings aren’t going to be hocked?

Bishop. Bishop? Are you there?

Brrrrrrrrrrr. Connection failed.